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Hey Ken and Ariel: I’ve been dating my girlfriend for five years now, and over the last year, she’s been talking a lot about her desire for a three-way. Unfortunately, the type of three-way she wants is with me and another guy. I’m all for adventure and I trust her and love her and want to make her happy, but this isn’t for me. Every time she brings it up I try to change the subject, but lately, she’s been pushing, even dangling the carrot of a three-way with another woman if we do it her way first. Is there any way I can get her to drop this?
ARIEL SAYS: Wait…have you been secretly dating me this whole time and I never knew about it? Because that’s totally on MY bucket list. (BTW, are you the one who keeps farting in bed? I’m almost positive it isn’t me.)
I know this is not what you want to hear, but I find this downright refreshing. The two girls/one dick trope is just so tired, and I was particularly annoyed when it came up in Magic Mike, of all movies. You’ve got more swingin’ dicks than a locker room at half-time, and the one threesome they portray is Tanning Bum-Bum, Olivia Munn, and some blond chick?!? Who the fuck do they think went to go see Magic Mike, Mormons?!?