• Women With Merely Grapefruit-Sized Breasts Need Not Apply

    One of the best things about running this here blog, besides those moments when I sneak my head on to Ariel’s chair right before she...

  • Scatalogical Trauma Is the Shit

    When I was at work the other day, I walked into the ladies loo and immediately gagged – either a large animal had recently died...

  • The Little Victories That I Take Pride In

    Look, despite my happy-go-lucky, slap-happy Irishman looks, I’m a miserable, cantankerous bastard. I’d like to blame the drinking or the women or the cold hard...

  • Tits and Ask: It’s Not Me, It’s You. Really.

    DEAR KEN & ARIEL: Is there a right way and a wrong way to break up with someone? I’ve been dating this guy for about...

  • Strung Out on Dick

    Sweet Jesus, Help us Laydeez who get strung out on dick. It’s never pretty, is it. We start off all cool and independent, like Kate...

  • Much Love to the Spitters AND the Swallowers

    I was out drinking with some female friends this weekend. Of course, as it always does when I’m buying, the subject turned to blowjobs. And...

  • Elope. Thank You.

    You want me to be your bridesmaid? Wow, that’s…great. No really, what an honor. Let me open several new lines of credit for the following:...

  • Tits ‘n’ Ask: When Boobs Go Viral

    Dear Ken & Ariel: At what point in the online relationship is it okay to send racy pictures? KEN SAYS: I think you’ve already answered...

  • Banging Your Coworkers: Never a Good Idea.

    It’s the question that every man and woman will ask themselves at one time in their lives: Can I bang my co-worker and not live...

  • Speaking of Quickies…

    The fine folks at MetAnotherFrog featured me and my twisted mind in their latest Quickie. Do visit their frighteningly good site to learn the three...