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Another Day Wasted
I can’t be the only person in the world who missed out on Black Friday shopping due to a debilitating condition known as “inability to...
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Trying to Get Laid on Thanksgiving: A Heartwarming Holiday Tale
Look, all this bullshit about the pilgrims coming here to escape religious persecution and rapid Wal-Mart expansion is pure BS. They came here for the...
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Sex at the End of the World
I’m disappointed by the sex on “The Walking Dead.” First of all, the couples depicted are totally lacking in chemistry. Seriously, there’s more sexual attraction...
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Early Saturday Morning Thoughts
Lady Gaga has perhaps the most under-rated ass in the entertainment business. Seriously. We get page after page about the weirdness, the outrageousness, the suits...
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Tits and Ask: Do I say, “Fuck, Yeah!” before I say, “I Do?”
DEAR KEN & ARIEL: I’m currently in my senior year of college, and am engaged to be married to my boyfriend of six years after...
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The Closet Show: Not as Awesome as You’d Think It Would Be
When I was in college, a buddy of mine inexplicably found himself dating one of the hottest girls on campus. I’m talking Victoria Secret-meets-chick-riding-the-bird in...
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“Hey, Want To Check Out My Roommate’s Porn Collection?”
This phrase has actually been uttered to me on more than one occasion, by different men. Is this a thing? Am I the only one?!?...
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The Day My Job Became the Greatest Job in the History of Jobs
Normally, I don’t like my job. It pays well, and does involve using my brain. But, for the most part, I spend my days dreaming...
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Dating Outside Your Comfort Zone
For me, dating outside my comfort zone generally means someone who has showered in the last 48 hours, who owns more than one dress shirt...
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My Sunday Morning Workout…
…consists of putting this video on loop, firing up some vodka and Red Bull, and masturbating myself into full-on delirium. Let’s just say it helps...
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Respect the Ass: An Interview with Gia Nova
Imagine Rob Zombie performing Cirque du Soleil, but Rob Zombie as an impossibly hot blonde with a perfect hourglass body and an ass so round it almost violates building...
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