All Tied Up


Our latest SEX ADVICE FROM ENGLISH MAJORS column at tackles the topic of… bondage. Here’s a teaser.

Dear Ken & Ariel: My girlfriend of two months has a real kink for bondage. She’s asked me if I’d be into it but, honestly, I’ve never done it and worry that my inexperience might be a turn-off. Any suggestions?

KEN SAYS: First things first: Just two months in and your girl’s already opening the door to the kinky stuff? Let me congratulate you on being elected Mayor of the People’s Republic of Awesome.

Now for my concern: How well do you know this woman? I only ask because when you’re hog-tied and strapped to an old radiator with your ass in the air and a ball gag in your mouth, you’re gonna want to trust her. As in, be one-hundred percent certain that she won’t grab your wallet and bolt. Or bring in some dude dressed as Batman (my favorite urban legend, by the way). Or stick a chocolate éclair in your ass and whip out her camera.

If you thought those Facebook videos of you doing the robot at your cousin’s wedding were bad, consider the career-demolishing prospects of starring in “Handcuffed Guy Gets Force-fed Horse Penis.”

Read the rest here.

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