Getting off: Are You a Sick Fuck, Or What?

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Recently, I wrote about how online porn can fuck up your libido. That was an enjoyable read, huh. Well, now I want to delve deeper into how, exactly, certain shit turns us on and ultimately gets us off. I originally wanted to investigate why straight people get into gay porn, and it led me down this interesting avenue of how one’s attraction of certain “types” of pornography, and/or sexual fantasy, are, quite literally, formed in the brain. For example: ever wonder why certain ethnic types may or may not turn you on? It’s all about the wiring, baby. Basically, according to this fascinating article in Psychology Today, “‘Neurons that fire together wire together.’ That is, if two things happen at the same time, our brains often associate them by means of actual neural connections. The more intense the associated events, or the more they are repeated (emphasis mine), the stronger the wiring.”

So, what’s more intense than the procreation event of the century, the orgasm? It’s like our brains are basically welded by volcanic fire. Like rats given atomic heroin for food pellets each time they hit the bell, we reinforce that “yes, yes, oh GOD YES!” every time we give our brain the supreme shot of dopamine pleasure. And if you get it by watching Albino MILFS wrestle in chocolate pudding, well then call Bill Cosby because you’re buying up his lifetime supply of Jello pudding pops.

Now, one may ask, why Albino MILFS and chocolate pudding? Where in the hell did that come from? Surprise, surprise, oftentimes it’s your good old subconscious, bringing crazy shit up from the craziest time of your life, childhood. Yes, childhood, where you really didn’t have any clue who you were or what was going on around you, and you had to rely on these two (sometimes one) adults who didn’t really know what the fuck was going on, either. So, yeah, shit happened. And it stays with us. For real yo. (This all makes me start to wonder about my partner-in-crime’s childhood past. Did some friend of his mother’s with a nice round tush accidentally mistake his face for a couch cushion during a lively game of Canasta? Hmmm….) Another example, from Psychology Today: “A study done on a BDSM community (bondage and sadomasochism)…revealed that all the masochists had undergone painful medical procedures during childhood.” So, not necessarily does mere corporeal punishment does the dom, or submissive, make!

What of the sexual fantasies that are getting, alarmingly, out of control? Is the ante being upped so much that you need 2 Girls, One Cup just to make your Johnson salute? (DON’T ANSWER THAT. DON’T ANSWER THAT! AGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!) In the article, it explains that “heavy porn users sometimes notice that as tolerance builds for their earlier tastes, they move in new directions in their search for intense arousal. Instead of seeking porn that accords with their former brain maps, many seek out what shocks them—perhaps because ‘forbidden’ and ‘fear-producing,’ when combined with sexual arousal, offer a bigger brain chemical kick…at least for a time. Each shift wires the new tastes into the brain.”

Is it possible to change that brain mapping, that hard-wiring that is starting to make you worry that the Feds are going to confiscate your hard drive? Yes. And it’s quite simple: pursuing sex without orgasm. Yes, you read that correctly. “[they] removed pusuit of orgasm for a time—with its unwanted, but tightly wired, associations. This somehow allowed their brains to shed, or begin to shed, artifically acquired associations.”

The brain is indeed the biggest sex organ and also our most valuable one in terms of navigating sexual arousal. So use it wisely. And thank your lucky stars it’s not all up to the lil’ guy (or gal) “downstairs.”

Psychology Today: “Straight Men, Gay Porn” and other Brain Map Mysteries