Ariel’s Rants

  • Rapper’s Delight

    This weekend had me playing with white rappers from Idaho, on their west coast tour. By “playing”, I mean me hanging out at the bar...

  • Saturday Night

    I’m bloated ‘cuz I could be getting my period but most likely it’s because of Kettle Chips new “Tias!” collection which are ‘healthy’ tortilla chips...

  • My Vacation at Cabo San Lucas

    One of the most fun sexy-times I ever had was at this kid’s graduation party (college, not high school.) I happened to be back east...

  • Note To Self: After Sex, Get Lost.

    The morning after needs a pill. Not that pill, another pill, one that will prevent you from being anywhere near where you were the night...

  • Mute

    Some people can sleep with the TV on. Some people can have sex with the TV on. Unfortunately, I can’t do either. Brilliant multi-taskers, there...

  • Fake It ‘Til You Make It?

    A woman faking an orgasm seems as ancient as that old chestnut of a movie, “When Harry Met Sally.” Chicks snickered and winked knowingly, exchanged...

  • Kinda Indecent Proposal

    So I’m taking a stroll, in the relentless Cali sunshine, when this dude approaches. “You over 18?” “Excuse me?” He pulls out his card. “I’m...

  • Sending the Wrong Message

    Formerly the artistic bent of bikers and sailers, tattoos have become as mainstream as apple pie and Starbucks enemas. Your best friend has one. Your...

  • Take a Picture, It Lasts Longer. In Fact, Take Several.

    Note to Self: when on POF (Plenty of Fakes? Plenty of old Farts?), avoid the “one-picture” profiles. I don’t care how Instagram-Hipster-grammed, how artistically black...

  • VD: Not Just an STD

    In offices across America, there is a day that is full of hopes and fears, the pinnacle of dreams and cruelest of realities…“the thrill of...