Ken’s Rants
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A Brief But Ultimately Self-Serving Public Announcement
Women of America, if I may have your attention for just one moment. Do I have your attention? Excellent. ::Ahem:: Don’t fear the rimjob. Seriously....
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Freaks But Never the Hot Girl: My Life on Planes
Over the last couple weeks, with summer vacation season in full-tilt, a lot of you may have found yourselves on airplanes. And if you’ve ever...
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Christmas Music, as Composed by My Ex-Girlfriends
“Merry Christmas, Asshole.” “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like I’d Rather Date Your Brother.” “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas. Then Fuck Off and...
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10 Valentine’s Day Cards I’d Like to Send
Ever scan the aisles of V-day cards at the local drug store and think, “they just don’t offer the sentiments I’m hoping to express to...
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In News Surprising No One, Men Okay with Oral on the First Date
I don’t know what I find more surprising: the fact that yet another survey has determined that more men approve of oral on the first...
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Freaks But Never the Hot Girl: The Joys of Flying on Airplanes
Over the last couple days, with the Thanksgiving holiday in full-tilt, a lot of you may have found yourselves on airplanes. And if you’ve ever...
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Finally, Miley Cyrus’ “Wrecking Ball” Video Leads to Something Good
Look, you can bash Miley’s “Wrecking Ball” video all day long, but you can’t deny the positive impact it’s been having on our society. And,...
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Is There Such Thing as “Hot By Association”?
You know how sometimes you’ll have this really hot chick, and she has a friend who’s not quite so hot, yet that not-quite-so-hot friend assumes...
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Nothing Drops Property Values Like Noisy Sex
Apparently I’ve been playing this real estate game all wrong. Day after day, I ask my Realtor to hook me up with a place where...
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Men Think About Sex a Lot, According to New Survey and Everyone Who Ever Lived, Ever
In news that really shouldn’t surprise anyone, a new survey has discovered that men think about sex a lot. Like, way more than women do....
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Respect the Ass: An Interview with Gia Nova
Imagine Rob Zombie performing Cirque du Soleil, but Rob Zombie as an impossibly hot blonde with a perfect hourglass body and an ass so round it almost violates building...
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