Ken’s Rants

  • Erection Day

    A couple weeks back, while waiting around at the only dentist’s office in town that doesn’t require pants, I read an interesting article in some...

  • Women With Merely Grapefruit-Sized Breasts Need Not Apply

    One of the best things about running this here blog, besides those moments when I sneak my head on to Ariel’s chair right before she...

  • Much Love to the Spitters AND the Swallowers

    I was out drinking with some female friends this weekend. Of course, as it always does when I’m buying, the subject turned to blowjobs. And...

  • Thanks for Sharing, Ex-Girlfriend!

    Look, when I’m in a relationship, I’m all for sharing and opening up and letting my thoughts and emotions run free like a pack of...

  • Women Know That When It’s Over, It’s Over

    Look, I don’t envy women. Guys are fucking idiots and congress wants to get all up in your business and you can’t walk past my...

  • Something Famous to Sit On

    One night, back in the day, a former girlfriend of mine surprised me by dropping trou, turning around, and presenting her backside to me which...

  • Lance Armstong: Still Winning Until Further Notice

    Attention US Anti-Doping Agency: You really want to punish Lance Armstrong? Screw the banishment and stripping away of titles. Try using some kind of “brain...

  • In Praise of Fridays

    Today is casual dress day at my office. Or, as I like to think of it, the one day of the week in which every...

  • All Alone On an Island of Truth

    I spend a lot of time travelling on business. And a lot of that time is spent travelling with female coworkers. It therefore goes without...

  • Dream Date

    Ladies and Gents, Ken has done us all a great service (and has allowed me time off to stockpile PBRs, sparklers and lube for the...