My Dumb Life

  • In the Battle of Beliefs vs. Bike Shorts, Bike Shorts Always Win

    I already know that organized religion works overtime to squeeze the fun from life. But there are moments when it crosses the line, threatening something...

  • To the Getters AND the Givers

    This weekend, you may find yourself encouraging a friend or even yourself to “go out and get some ass.” And this is a good thing,...

  • Beauty May Be In The Eye of The Beholder…

    …but the beholden better do some tap-dancin’. Here we have two fine male specimens. One is Ryan Gosling, for whom the mere name makes women...

  • The Lost Weekend

    I am going to spend roughly four hours this weekend mowing lawns. And, sadly, that is NOT a euphemism for screwing and/or cunnilingus. I will...

  • Screw You, American Television

    I sometimes worry I’m not watching enough of the Spanish Channel, where babes in tight pants and big hair are the order of the day....

  • So, How Was Your Weekend?

    Enjoy our new cover photo for the Ken & Ariel Facebook page. Have you liked us yet?

  • Saturday Night

    I’m bloated ‘cuz I could be getting my period but most likely it’s because of Kettle Chips new “Tias!” collection which are ‘healthy’ tortilla chips...

  • Note To Self: After Sex, Get Lost.

    The morning after needs a pill. Not that pill, another pill, one that will prevent you from being anywhere near where you were the night...

  • Mute

    Some people can sleep with the TV on. Some people can have sex with the TV on. Unfortunately, I can’t do either. Brilliant multi-taskers, there...

  • The Night a Thong Sent Me to the Emergency Room

    Confession: I’m obsessed with female underwear. I don’t wear it myself — at least not since the “college days” — but I absolutely fucking live...