Fake It ‘Til You Make It?

The Good O Days

A woman faking an orgasm seems as ancient as that old chestnut of a movie, “When Harry Met Sally.” Chicks snickered and winked knowingly, exchanged a few “I’ll have what she’s having” and that was that, the proverbial cat (i.e., pussy) was out of the bag. Then women decided, fuck this faking bullshit, I’m gonna get what’s mine, and voila, the Big O was born. Women cheered, men panicked, and erectile dysfunction medication was introduced to the general population.

But then came the rise of porn – once relegated to adult book stores on Route 99 and unmarked VHS tapes, it suddenly enjoyed a renaissance with the Web; with a few key words typed into Google (PornTube’s a good one), it became downright mainstream middle America. So now there’s women with gigantic fake tits, surgically enhanced genitalia, and bleached assholes having mind-blowing orgasms, right and left. Sometimes five in a row, even though the guy looks like he’s doing his taxes. “I LOVE IT WHEN YOU SPANK MY PUSSY!” “OOOH, SPIT ON IT!” (Really? That seems rather annoying and unnecessary. What, CVS was sold out of AstroGlide?) And women are running out and getting boob jobs, labiaplasty,and bleached assholes (in LA, at least.) Who’s to say we’re not back to banging on the table in the crowded deli, grabbing our hair and screaming a few “YES! OH YES! DON’T STOP!!!”?


  1. Nikki B

    April 2, 2012 at 9:13 pm

    Excellent points, Miss Ariel. Really, how far have we come?

    Get it??? Ha! OK. Sorry. In all seriousness, this is serious. There’s been some talk about a new generation, having grown up with porn at their fingertips, thinking sex is like porn (I mean, sometimes, ok, but…). People are doing things they think they should, whether they want to or not. Ladies be back to faking it because they think that’s how they should act in order to be porn stars – and have no idea IF they’ve even had an orgasm.

    • Ariel

      April 3, 2012 at 1:32 pm

      Yes, very well put! It’s the classic, “you’re doing it wrong.” I think porn is a tool, a very effective tool, but one that should NOT be wielded like a club over the real thing. Its purpose is like the express commuter train: to get you off at your intended destination super quick. Real, live, living, breathing sex, on the other hand, is a journey of a thousand movements that may or may not take you where you want to go, but you sure as hell should enjoy the ride.

  2. David

    April 3, 2012 at 2:55 pm

    So I attended MomentumCon over this past weekend, an amazing conference on sexuality, feminism and relationships. In particular one session was entitled “Feminist Porn as Cultural Critique” where all the panelists talked about using more authentic porn combined with actual sex education to combat the issues brought up by this post. Some choice quotes include:

    Sinnamon Love (A Porn Star): “Unfortunately porn is sex education only because actual comprehensive sex ed isn’t taught.”

    Dr. Carol King: “Anyone who is against pornography must then be an advocate of quality sex ed otherwise they are talking out of their ass”

    In addition the panel about feminist porn explicitly including a variety of body types. Also talked about including the conversations/consent and prepping usually edited out of mainstream porn. And that’s just some of what was touched on, it was absolutely fascinating panel.

  3. Ariel

    April 3, 2012 at 6:58 pm

    David! I love this, and need to investigate this further. I was talking to a friend the other night and in talking about feminist porn, she said “it’s all lesbian porn, so as a straight woman why would I bother to watch?” There’s some rather large gaps in our sex Ed, both formative and current! And I’ll be sure to check out your blog feminist father.com 🙂

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