Five Possibly Crazy Women With Spectacular Asses


Kim Kardashian: I hear people going on for hours about what her claim to fame is. Is she an actress? A singer? A hanger-on? I say who gives a shit. So long as her ass shows up on my TV for the prerequisite two hours per day, she can do whatever she wants.


Britney Spears: She may not be a permanent resident of The land of Common Sense, but Britney has always had a quality derriere. And just when we think her ass is passe, it shows up in the news again.


Nicki Minaj: I’ve always found her act and her music about as enjoyable as being strapped to a “constant knee-to-the-balls” machine (hey, they have those in Japan!). But I’d gladly eat a pair of her yoga pants with a side of toast and bacon to get at that ass.


Christina Aguilera: Not sure if she’s half as nutty as the other women here (“Burlesque” notwithstanding), but I’ve always been a huge fan of her ass. And to the folks who say it’s reached gargantuan proportions, I say “Hells yeah!” Like I’ve always said, if a woman sits on my face and I can still hear the radio, something ain’t right.


Ariel: Okay, she’s one of the coolest, funniest and most grounded women I know. Plus, she has a lot of common sense, as illustrated by the fact that the closest she’s ever let my face get to her ass was to take this photo. But putting up with my bullshit all these years clearly indicates that something’s askew. Or maybe this was just an excuse to look at her ass again.