Friend with benefits, cuddle buddy – whatever name you give it, the trend of no-strings sexual relationships is becoming the norm for many reasons, and it isn’t just millennials who are hooking up with a close friend or co-worker while foregoing a commitment. Many older professionals who have already been married and raised families are too busy with their lives or aren’t interested in having more than a sexual relationship. The prevailing view of these arrangements is that they are good for the commitment-phobe or player, but that they can ruin friendships or hurt those who are emotionally vulnerable. However, if you follow a few guidelines, you’ll see why fuck buddy dating works, is a rewarding, sexually freeing experience and a great way of getting your physical needs met while retaining your independence.
A Few Simple Rules
There are two kinds of no-strings situations: fuck buddies and friends with benefits. A friend with benefits is someone you are either already friends with, but have a sexual attraction to, or someone you have casual sex with, and then you become friends later. A fuck buddy is just that: someone you have sexual chemistry with, but who you have no relationship with outside of the bedroom.
Often, the friends with benefits scenario is the one most fraught with complications; it can either ruin a friendship or grow into something deeper. Fuck buddy dating is great, and can be very successful, as long as you talk about expectations ahead of time and both of you agree not to push the boundaries and make it into something it’s not: a relationship. These are the most important aspects of fruitful fuck buddy relations.
1. Keep physical contact inside the bedroom. This means no hand-holding, kissing or cuddling. The point of this is sex, and only sex; that includes not sleeping over as well. Displays of affection outside of sex can be confusing and lead to emotional attachment for one or both parties. Unless that’s what both of you want at some point, keep your emotional distance.
2. Be honest. You should embark on a situation like this with full disclosure. Have a discussion with your sex partner up front about things such as how often you will meet, where you will meet, rules about contact. It keeps misunderstandings to a minimum and frees you to enjoy the great sex without all the worries.
3. Keep yourself clean and healthy. Don’t assume that because it’s just sex you can let hygiene take a back seat. Part of the thrill is the sexual attraction, and that will diminish if you let your own level of attraction take a back seat. It’s also essential that you practice safe sex, not only because this is not an exclusive situation, but you also don’t want to co-parent with someone you have no intention of being involved with.
4. Keep your options open. You may meet someone outside of the FB/FwB that you do want to build something with. Remember also that this is a no-strings encounter, and there is no place for jealousy or possessiveness. Make sure that you are emotionally ready before you enter into an arrangement like this.
The Benefits Part of the Equation
As long as you go into the situation with your eyes open and boundaries in place, there are actually benefits to a no-strings sexual relationship. If you already have a full life, your own interests and friends, having a fuck buddy will help you release tension and keep your endorhpin levels up. Sex is a healthy and natural need that all of us have, but sometimes we don’t want or need the complications that come with sharing more than just a bed.