Great Moments in Catwoman History

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It’s good to know that despite the ultra-sophisticated, gritty trappings of Chris Nolan’s Dark Knight movies, he understands and acknowledges the most important tenet of Batman Law, which is: you can’t go wrong with Catwoman’s ass.

This is most apparent in this insanely gratuitous and off-the-charts awesome scene in which Anne Hathaway’s Selina Kyle, AKA Catwoman, straddles the Bat-cycle in a manner that would make even the most strong-willed man wish he was a piece of molded vinyl. With the movie debuting last weekend on HBO and running almost around on the clock since, I’ve logged about 50 viewings, and I can honestly declare this 12 second bit the highlight.

If I was the on-set prop director, suffice it to say that cycle seat would still be stashed safely under my bed.

Anyway, the scene got me thinking of other overtly “sexual” Catwoman moments and how they stack up:

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Michelle Pfeiffer’s Catwoman licking Batman: For a movie that featured Michelle Pfeiffer in black vinyl pants, Batman Returns unfortunately had only one truly penis-nudging moment. I’m talking about the scene where Catwoman straddles Batman, licking his face and feeling for his twig and berries under the Batsuit. While Pfeiffer may have been the hottest Catwoman ever, on a scale of one to Hathaway’s ass, this gets a 7. Oh, and if your penis nudged during any moment Danny DeVito’s Penguin was on the screen… send it back.

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Julie Newmar Being Awesome: Don’t care that this was filmed almost 50 years ago: On the Batman TV series of the ’60s, Newmar brought quality booty to the Catwoman role. Just look at this fucking thing. LOOK AT IT!

Now LOOK AT IT AGAIN, IN CONVENIENT JPG FORM:

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There is no denying the staggering power of Newmar’s ass. But don’t take my word for it.

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Okay, moving on…

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Halle Berry as Catwoman: Unfortunately, the only thing sexier than Catwoman in this movie is… everything.

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