The Guide to Loving Like a Porn Star

Helping people get laid has been big business ever since Neanderthal Man hosted the first “Innovative Ways to Drag Her Back to Your Cave” seminar. So when I came across a website hosted by porn stars promising to help “the skinniest dweeb” (::raises hand::) give women “body-quaking orgasms,” I barely batted an eye. But looking at the talent behind PornStarSexLife.com got me curious. Fortunately, founder Josh Rose was willing to answer some of our questions. Through his site, his ebook — UndeniablePassion, written to help women make their men fall “more in love with [them] every day” — and Porn Star Sex Life workshops, he’s on a mission to help couples maintain their passion long-term. And to deliver the insight that mags like Cosmo have been half-assedly promising for decades.

How did you get the idea for this site?
I started a sex education/training business called Porn Star Sex Life back in 2009 to help men, women and couples improve their love lives. Our live workshops were about 50/50 men and women, but I noticed that just about all of our online students were men. I was receiving a ton of emails every week from women asking how to improve their relationships when their boyfriend/husbands would seem to check out emotionally, and their love lives began to disappear.

I started to see a very distinct pattern in the problems that women were having regardless of their age, geographical location, religious beliefs, and pretty much anything else.

After about 2 years of researching their problems at their core level, and helping women to turn their love lives around, I decided it was time to bring my work to the public. It’s really not fun to live with the constant fear that the person you love more than anything else in the world could all of a sudden walk out the door and never come back. So my goal is to (hopefully) end that fear for as many women as possible. And that’s exactly what Undeniable Passion is all about.

Glance at any issue of Cosmo or other mags you see in the supermarket check out line, and they all promise to teach women the “one thing they need to do to make sure he never cheats.” What makes your angle different?
The reason magazines like Cosmo have been selling the exact same issue, with the exact same promise every single month for years and years is because it doesn’t work. They have no clue what they are talking about, and quite frankly don’t want to fix your relationship. As soon as you are still in pain after you’ve finished reading their garbage, they know they’ve got you buying their next issue the following month.

All of my research is based on real science and psychology from some of the most qualified minds in the world. I try to make understanding the core principals as clear, straight forward and honest as possible, without leaving you with more questions or confusion. When you watch our one on one demonstrations, we hold your hand and teach you everything you’ll need to know step by step. Setting my training up similar to a college course, with a lecture portion followed by a demonstration allows you to fully grasp and conceptualize all of our ideas in the most focused and direct ways possible.

In your perspective, are all monogamous relationships doomed to fail? At times it seems to against the way men and women are naturally wired.
Yes and no. There are always going to be people who would never dream of cheating on their partner. And there are others who have no problem doing it when ever they get the urge.

If someone cheats on their partner for a purely physical reason, and has no emotional attachment what so ever, there’s a good chance the relationship can be saved pretty easily.

However, the problem is when there are strong loving emotions involved. This means that they are not receiving something they desperately need at home, and their bodies are saying it’s time to find it somewhere else.

What, in your opinion, is the one thing that women do that will doom any relationship?
Above all else men need to feel desired. But when we get in to a routine with our relationship, it’s sometimes touch to remember to let your partner know just how much you crave them. Sending a suggestive text message or picture while they are at work is a simple way to do this, but how many couples still do something like that 8 months in to the relationship? When was the last time you treated your partner to a full body sensual massage after a long week? As long as you make sure to spend a few minutes letting your partner know that you still desire them, they will return the favor, and you’ll both be much happier.

Is the onus all on women to make sure a guy doesn’t cheat?
Absolutely not. The responsibility is on both people. As I mentioned before, what is the reason he cheated? If Kate Upton just walked up to him and asked him to go up to her private hotel room, that’s one thing. As much as it sucks, a lot of men would take her up on the offer, especially if his girlfriend/wife has stopped letting him know that she craves him.

However, if the passion and romance in the relationship died out a long time ago, and he’s started seeing someone for whom he’s developed loving feeling for; than we have a much bigger problem. Again, it all comes back to the fact that we all need to know that the person we love still wants us above everything else.

What about the reverse angle? What do men often do wrong that leads women to cheat, and how can they prevent it?
It’s pretty much the same thing for women as it is for men, but with one added factor. Women like to feel that they are taken care of, and that their man can provide a good lifestyle. If the man has no motivation to improve himself or their way of life, the woman will be biologically inclined to seek out a man who can. This doesn’t necessarily mean that she’s going to also go after a guy with money, but she will be more likely to go for someone who can give her more stability and comfort.

Why do most men — at least a lot of the guys I talk to — shy away from performing oral sex? Is it mostly confusing to them? Do they not understand the scope of how this could impact their sex game?
Men want one thing in the bedroom. They want to get their dicks inside of their partner until they bust. When he sees you moaning a little bit during foreplay and a whole lot during sex, he’s going to assume that you enjoy the sex a lot more. If you don’t say anything to him, or encourage him to go down on you, then he’s going to assume that you’re happy with the sex, and will continue doing the same thing over and over.

There’s nothing wrong with either directing him with your words, grabbing his hair and pushing his head down between your legs, or simply riding his face the next time he’s on his back. If you want your man to perform more oral sex, then let him know!

What is one thing you’d recommend a guy can do to improve his chances of getting laid in any situation?
Flirt more! It doesn’t matter if we’re talking about when he meets a girl for the first time, or if they’ve been married for years. Show confidence by holding eye contact while you gently slide your fingers up the inside of her arms, neck and even through her hair. Look at her lips and tell her that you just need to taste them. Don’t ask for permission when you know she’s enjoying what you’re doing. Take the initiative to kiss her passionately, and then grab her by the hand and guide her to the bedroom.

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