Is There Such Thing as “Hot By Association”?

I'm only taking crap from one of you.

You know how sometimes you’ll have this really hot chick, and she has a friend who’s not quite so hot, yet that not-quite-so-hot friend assumes that, by virtue of hanging out with the hot friend, some of the hot friend’s hotness effectively rubs off on her as well?

There’s a girl in my office, probably about 25 years old. Curly red hair, big blue eyes, porcelain skin, and a gorgeous, heart-stoppingly round ass. The kind of ass that you plan your day around, as in being strategically prepared to drop everything and follow her down the hallway if/when she passes your office.

This knockout is often seen in the company of a co-worker who’s not quite as hot. Dirty blonde, a bit overweight, raspy voice, heavy smoker, way too much make-up… you get the picture.

Anyway, as I parked my car and started heading toward the office building the other day, I saw Red and her pal hanging outside the front door. Red’s messing with her iPhone and Blondie’s having a smoke.

As I approach them, ever the gentleman, I nod and smile and say, “Good morning.”

Red just kinda rolls her eyes, as if to say, “Why in god’s name are you talking to me?” And it’s perfectly fine. After all, she’s God’s gift to the men of this office complex, the stuff that dreams and the occasional behind-closed-doors office wank are made of. And I am considerably farther down the food chain, affectionately known by most co-workers as the company pervert.

But then I see Blondie pull the exact same thing–her heavily mascara-ed eyes rolling and her hand going up as if to say, “Buddy, keep your distance.” And that bothered me.

Of course, my first impulse was to throw down my briefcase and say, “Okay, I’ll take that crap from Red. But you [pointing at Blondie here for maximum effect]–I know I’ve fucked better than you.”

That would have showed her. Hell, it might have even earned me a few points in Red’s book.

Instead, however, I just looked away, shuffled into my office, and spent the day fantasizing about the two of them double-teaming me.

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