How To Sell Women’s Socks. To Guys.

See? Someone at American Apparel gets it. Because when I’m shopping for socks for that special lady in my life, I’m guided by the following criteria:

How comfortable will these socks make her feet?

What sort of material are they made from?

How will they look when she’s down on all fours, ass arched just perfectly, waiting on me and my throbbing cock (or, as I sometimes refer to it when I’m feeling sporty, Admiral Johnny O’Brien) to nail her sixteen ways to Sunday?

Oh, and I’ll take six pairs, thanks.

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