In News Surprising No One, Men Mature Slower than Women

chewiechews

Thanks to a tweet by FOX 25’s Shannon Mulaire, I was hipped to a recent UK study that determined, astonishingly, that men reach maturity at a later age in life than women.

Specifically, according to the survey, “the average man doesn’t reach full emotional maturity until age 43, while women mature by age 32. In fact, men were almost twice as likely to describe themselves as immature than women were, and one in four men believe they are actively immature. Three out of ten women ended a relationship because they lost patience with their man’s immaturity.”

On the “groundbreaking” scale, I’d rank these findings right up there with “guys apparently like blowjobs” and “boobs are awesome.” But they did reveal a couple interesting things about what women find most immature about men:

“Eight out of ten women believe that men will ‘never stop being childish.’ Women defined the childish acts that bother them most as passing gas, burping, eating fast food in the last hours of the night, and playing videogames.”

Honestly, after reading this, I think the women are letting us off easy.

farleyyoga

No mention of motorboating? Or shouting “Kneel before Zod!” during a blowjob? Or losing my shit whenever a woman in yoga pants or tight jeans walks by? Or refusing to throw away my special, masturbation-friendly sweat pants? Or using my patented “placing my palm down upright on the passenger side seat as she’s getting in the car and then acting surprised when she sits on my hand” maneuver?

Hell I guess I could swing with that. I mean, I can give up videogames a lot easier than I can grow out of my seemingly uncontrollable urge to hang out my window, begging female passersby to sit on my face. But if being “mature” means abandoning the very things that make me human (and also, kind of an asshole), then I’ll probably never get there.

Regardless, I’m amazed women have anything to do with guys at all. Especially guys named me.

2 Comments

  1. Diana

    June 12, 2013 at 5:29 pm

    Wait a second? Eating fast food late at night and playing video games? Sheesh! Maybe I’m still into that stuff because I’m only 31. I only have a few more months of immaturity left in me, so I better make them the best months of my life!

    • Ken

      June 12, 2013 at 8:05 pm

      Yep. You gotta live it up while you can!

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