My Nerdiness: Officially an Issue

Hey, that doesn’t look like Tobey Maguire’s hand…

So a buddy sends me a link to the latest video from fetish porn queen Tara Tainton, entitled “Why, You Have a Deadly Case of Spider-Balls.”

And, because I am a slave to such genius marketing, I click the link. And find that the video, as I probably should have guessed, features Spider-Man being jerked off by a hot nurse (NSFW, of course). Which is something that God knows I’ve always felt should have been addressed in Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man films.

But after watching the preview clip a number of times, I was more troubled by the fact that my lingering thoughts weren’t on the hotness that is Tara Tainton or her ample cleavage or her rather impressive handjob skills.

It was that the guy in the movie had a really, really cool Spider-Man costume.

Not from the Spider-Man 2 Director’s Cut.


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