In News Surprising No One, Men Okay with Oral on the First Date

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I don’t know what I find more surprising: the fact that yet another survey has determined that more men approve of oral on the first date than women, or that there are still entities willing to bankroll such studies. I mean, is this even news? Trust me, when I venture out to a first date, fifty thousand years of human evolution has already primed me for a blowjob-free evening. Not your high-falutin’ sex surveys.

Anyway, this latest research, conducted by match.com, shows that 39 percent of single men say oral sex is appropriate on a first date versus 7 percent of women. When it comes to intercourse, the breakdown is 37 percent of men and 8 percent of women.

Even more intriguing, that same survey indicates that 85 percent of men say kissing is appropriate on a first date versus 70 percent of women. Meaning that 30 percent of guys out there are instantly relegated to Hugtown–and, I presume, a healthy bout of post-date masturbation–the first time they take a woman out.

As for discussion topics to avoid on a first date, the top responses were past relationships, politics or religion. I’d respectfully add “current infections” and “mule fetishes” to that list.

Now, getting back to oral… I’m curious if the survey questions specified giving or receiving? I can certainly understand a woman’s reticence to go down on a guy she’s just met. But what about lying back and letting a guy use his tongue to work her six ways to Sunday? When it comes to reading signs, I’m every bit as shitty at decoding women as I am at understanding a list of best online betting sites. But there have to be some women who’d change their opinion on first-date oral if they were the receivers?

Right?

Maybe?

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