O Face Files: Are Vaginal Orgasms Having More Fun Than Clitoral Orgasms?


I discovered my clit whilst hanging at a bar – the monkey bars, to be precise. In grade school I quickly realized rubbing up against the smooth metal made me feel really, really good. So I became a regular, much to the playground’s enjoyment and to the horror of the nuns. But when my milkshake started bringing all the boys to the yard, that hot button was nowhere to be found.  I couldn’t seem to replicate it. His penis, his fingers, my fingers, a vibrator (even one of shiny metal) could not reproduce the main event. It took many many practice runs and a couple of years until I was finally able to make the O Face to someone besides my pillow. And even then, it was still hit or miss.

Now, I had a couple of girlfriends who had vaginal orgasms. That is, orgasms without clitoral stimulation. And they seemed to be having a helluva lot more fun. They came, like, CONSTANTLY. And they bragged about it. Like guys. In fact, they started taking a more detached approach to sex, less concerned with traditional dating and taking things slow and more about getting laid, since they knew that they were going to get off. Every. Single. Time. It fucking blew my mind. And made me insanely jealous. I mean, that would be incredible, that no matter what the guy said or did (as long as it wasn’t atrocious/offensive/illegal) I would still have that moment of bliss, that nonstop express to O-Face Town? I mean, how many guys would I have dumped in an instant instead of waiting around for the sex to get better, when in fact it was spectacular now, and whoop-di-doo, it’ll be spectacular with the next guy  too, so move along HOMBRE, you’re holding up the line!

(BTW, there is still a fierce debate about whether or not these two “different” orgasms actually exist. You can read here for more details, and draw your own conclusions.)

OK, things are a little different now, as I’ve had double digit years of practice/partners, and my body has become, shall we say, more well-adjusted. And while I may not have the ear-splitting, mind-blowing, time-warping O of a clitoral orgasm every single time I have sex, I do have fucking awesome vaginal ragers with Mr. Dick in attendance. They feel like aftershocks. Or sometimes, before-aftershocks. You know what I mean. So in the end maybe now I’m getting both? Who the hell knows.

But, I will say one thing, between you, me, and the monkey bars: It’s Never As Good As The First Time.

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