Off The Beaten Path

As much as my ovulatory urges may dictate slabs of man-meat in fit packages, I’m grateful that my sexual attraction, for the most part, does not fixate on a specific type (except the two “p”s, of course: Penis and Pulse) but instead likes to go all over the map. The phrase “Playing against type” comes to mind, except replace the word playing with fucking and you understand where I’m coming from, esse. I find that men who may not be conventionally handsome but can basically mind-fuck the shit out of me will usually be doing the physical version in short order. If they’ll have me.

So here’s a few examples of those who don’t necessarily walk the rigid, narrow path of “stud muffin” but nevertheless still light my panties on fire:
As you may have noticed, I put up an old photo of JGL. Because now the Hollywood machine has consumed him and he is now a conventional “hottie.” Which is perfectly fine, you’re certainly not going to be kicked out of my bed for using hot sauce, but still, I miss the nerdy angst of the former “3rd Rock From the Sun” child actor.

This is for my girlfriend, who is obsessed with this man. You’ve probably never heard of him. He was “Q” in Skyfall. But he is a brilliant, tortured actor from England with a slight frame and a lovely British accent who will haunt your dreams and perhaps someday your underwear.


Remember Winter’s Bone? You’ve seen this guy in a lot of things, and never knew his name. But you still wanted him to take you into the back alley and fuck you from behind. Don’t deny it, I read your diary. His name is John Hawkes. And if you’ve never wanted to be Helen Hunt, watch “The Sessions” and see how long that lasts.


Here’s another one whose name may not be on the tip of your tongue, but you kinda wish his penis was. Chris Cooper. You’re welcome.


And last, but never, ever, EVER least. Prince. Because he’s MUTHAFUCKING PRINCE. The most flyest-incredible-est, bad ass genius you have ever known. I don’t care if you’re male or female, gay or straight, vegetable or mineral, We ALL want to fuck Prince. The End.

1 Comment

  1. Moxie Me

    April 15, 2013 at 4:51 pm

    Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I will find my own “Prince” someday – the sooner, the better!!! Dammit!! xoxoxo

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