Welcome back! Make yourself comfortable as we chat with Kayla, Manager of Secret Desires Adult Toy Store in Santa Monica, CA, about the adult film industry and female sexuality in this crazy, mixed up world. Oh yeah, and fantastic sexy-fun-time recommendations!
ARIEL: Well Kayla, I’m a bit of a porn watcher, and whilst I enjoy it from time to time, I do find that it starts to have the same affect on me as womens’ fashion magazines: I start to feel self-conscious about my body, that I don’t have the beach-ball floating triple D’s, that I don’t have a perfect punani – and obviously I’m not alone, given the popularity of labiaplasty surgeries in LA!
KAYLA: Sadly, we’re not very friendly when it comes to our own bodies, and given the chance we’ll find an excuse to beat ourselves up, just like we do with the fashion magazines. And yes, a lot of guys want an 18-year old body with 30-something experience. And I keep telling them, it’s not gonna happen. A sexy woman is someone who knows who she is, knows how to work her body to her advantage, has confidence in herself. And that only comes with age and experience.
But I’ll yell you, perceptions are changing. Men are pressured too, believe me, and are just as hard on themselves. The industry itself – it used to be, everyone wanted to be Jenna Jameson but now there’s a million girls out here happy to do porn, it has become that mainstream and over-saturated. Also with the internet, anyone can make a porn. So the career life expectancy of your average female porn star is 6 months.
ARIEL: Wow. And have you seen a difference in terms of what kind of porn men are buying, nowadays?
KAYLA: Men want amateur videos, girls with curves, natural boobs. They want real-looking women. I can’t keep the amateur videos in stock, they just fly off my shelves.
ARIEL: That is heartening!
KAYLA: Yes. I believe sexy is truly a state of mind, regardless of who you are or where you’re at in your relationship. I’m very lucky to have a wonderful, loving husband who keeps me grounded. And sometimes the sexiest thing he can do is hold my hand while we’re walking through the market, or open the car door. I’m like, “honey, when we get home, I’m fucking your brains out!”
ARIEL: (laughs) Excellent, I love it!
KAYLA: The key is finding the you that is, or used to be, fun and amazing and confident. Do something that makes you feel sexy: lathering up with tons of shampoo – what I call my “porno shower”, putting on perfume, stockings, heels – you’re really doing it for yourself, to feel good about yourself.
ARIEL: You’ve got a wonderful, healthy attitude. How do you empower your female customers and employees to feel the same way?
KAYLA: I give all my female employees the book, “Mojo Makeover – How To Find Your Sexy.” I tell them they can apply it to all areas of their lives. It’s from the company “Booty Parlor”, which has great line of products geared towards the 25-40 year old female demo. Very pretty packaging, good messaging, etc.
ARIEL: Adding it to my summer reading list! OK, lets talk shop: favorite toy?
KAYLA: Without question, the Butterfly Kiss. Three speeds, waterproof, and it’s only around $25.
ARIEL: Porn for women – your suggestion?
KAYLA: Let’s see -DVD’s are all pretty integrated now, FYI, so you’re going to probably see women-on-women action on most of them, if not all. I’d say best director to look for is Andrew Blake. He’s made some good movies. Also Ninn Works and Playgirl, believe it or not. One of the most beautiful movies I’ve seen is ten years old, called ZAZEL. It was made by Penthouse; very artistic, tasteful, beautifully shot, it definitely appeals to women.
ARIEL: Kayla, you’ve been amazing and have an incredible wealth of knowledge – thank you so much for your time and sharing your pearls of wisdom! One last thing, if our fans don’t live in beautiful Santa Monica and can’t visit Secret Desires, do you have a website?
KAYLA: Yes we do, they can go to http://secretd.net. We’re also on Facebook.
ARIEL: Thanks again Kayla! Peeps, be sure to check it out!!!