Ladies and germs, my name’s Ken. And I’m an ass man. And part of being an ass man — some may say the most important part — is spreading the gospel of ass. And as part of that mission, I am here today to tell you that Richelle Ryan has a mighty, mighty fine ass.
Not surprising, of course, when you realize that Richelle is one of the hottest adult actresses in the world, nominated for most underrated starlet at the 2014 Fanny Awards. But my beef is with those who know her only for her rack. Yes, it’s an impressive rack — one that she proudly admits she bought — and about as close to perfect as you can get, nicely complementing her athletic frame, long brown hair and Barbie doll face. But just a few feet below sits one of the most incredible, sumptuous and, for lack of better terms, fucking amazing asses working in porn today.
There’s a reason she tattooed “heartbreaker” right on the curve of her cheek, folks; that ass can cause cardiac arrest from fifty feet away.
Eager to learn more about Richelle and her unquestionably awesome ass, we begged her for an interview. Thankfully, she agreed.
First things first: I’ve checked a lot of your interviews leading up to this call, and you come across as pretty down-to-earth. Like, girl-next-door down to earth. How much of that personality is you?
That’s all me. It always cracks me up when guys are like, “I’m so afraid to approach you.” They’ll go to my website and say they saw me at a convention but were so afraid to come up to me and talk to me but people who know me know that I’m the most laid back, chill kinda girl. I love football and working our and talking shit. That’s just me. Maybe when I’m all dolled up in Vegas I look like a whole new animal or seem unapproachable. But I always tell guys that I am the coolest bitch you will ever meet. I will hit on chicks just like you do and I probably know more about football than you.
So what’s a typical day for Richelle Ryan?
When I’m home, I wake up, make my coffee, watch SportsCenter, check all my social media, my Twitter, my facebook, my Instagaram. I check email, respond to email, then I usually hit an early morning hot yoga class. By the time I get out of that, I hit Whole Foods to get some lunch in me, then I meet with my trainer for a couple hours. He beats me up, man. Whatever he’s doing, it’s working. He’s shaped me up, big time. I call him the Michaelangelo of fitness.
I know your boobs get all the press, but I think your ass deserves more attention. Do you agree?
I used to say that my boobs are my best feature, but since I’ve started working out a lot more and a lot heavier, I see the way my body is changing and how my legs and my butt are really getting sculpted and I love it.
How would you describe your ass for anyone who hasn’t seen it?
It’s just a big old badonka-butt. It’s nice, it’s round. I have really muscular legs and a nice heart shaped booty. I am the heartbreaker, that’s what tattooed on my butt.
It’s a great tattoo. And whoever did it is the world’s luckiest tattoo artist.
You know what’s funny, he and I are still good friends. He’s your typical tattoo artist: big, motorcycle-gang-looking, all tatted up. And he said something I’ll never forget when I went to get this. He said, “You’re gonna have to stick your ass in my face for like 30 minutes if you want this tattoo.” I was like, “Okay.” Then he said, “And if you want to blow me afterward, that’s cool, too.” I said, “Well, I don’t know about that.”
How big is your ass, if I may ask?
I want to say the last time I measured it was 42 inches.
So it’s always been large and in charge?
Oh God, yes. I’m Italian so I was blessed with hips and curves and legs and a booty. I was always the ass queen. One thing I’ve realized from doing a lot of feature dancing is that there are a lot of ass men out there. And when you think about it, you can buy a nice set of boobs — which I did, and I know my boobs look great – -but you can’t buy a nice ass. I don’t care what Kim Kardashian says. She worked to get that ass. It takes work and like a hundred squats a day to get a nice booty.
What about other women’s asses? Any special tastes there?
I like a bubble butt. A nice round bubble butt. I like where you can boucne a quarter off that thing. Nice and smooth. No hair. Nothing.
So what do you typically wear when you want to show off your ass?
I like a nice tight dress or a skirt. Also, I have these black pants, I call them my Catwoman pants because every time I wear them, guys and girls are like “whoa.” People literally can’t keep their eyes off my ass when I have these pants on. I actually bought another pair the other day because of how good they make my ass look. I need to wear these a couple times a week. Those are magic pants.
Are they like yoga pants? Because you can wear the hell out of a pair of yoga pants.
Thank you. Honestly, I’m always in yoga pants. I’m in yoga pants right now. It’s tough to find jeans that can fit me since I have a small waist and a big round ass. But I know what brand I can wear. I buy a lot of True Religion and the leggings that they make, which have a lot of spandex in them, so they always fit perfectly. They just cling to my body.
What’s the weirdest fetish you’ve ever encountered regarding your ass?
Good question. But I really haven’t seen that many. Ass fans just want ass all around them. They want to bury their face in it, which is fine with me, I love it. But can’t think of a really weird fetish involving my butt.
So you’re down with having a face buried in your ass? This is good to know.
Fuck yes! I love a man who buries his face in my ass. I will fall in love with a guy who does that to me. I’ve always said that real men eat pussy from the back. I love it.
Damn. That’s a great line.
Here’s the deal: If you get in the sack with me, I’m sitting on your face without a doubt. It’s just part of the program. If you wanna bang me, you better be ready. You better eat your Wheaties and saddle up. Your face is getting sat on.
Along those lines, who makes a better facesitting victim in your opinion? A man or a woman?
Guys definitely. When you’re with a girl it’s more sensual, lots of kissing, licking. You don’t want to put your whole body weight on a female’s face, we always have our makeup on and lip gloss and mascara and eyelashes. I don’t really like to sit on girl’s faces and I don’t like them sitting on mine. I’d rather sit on a guy’s face.
So considering that you love wearing yoga pants and you love sitting on men’s faces, have you ever been asked to sit on someone’s face while you’ve got your yoga pants on, or am I the only one into that?
Shit, I bet half the guys at my gym want me to sit on their face with my leggings on. All men have a leggings and yoga pants fetish. I don’t think there is any man who would complain about yoga pants, and if he does, he’s probably gay.
What’s the best compliment you’ve ever gotten on your ass?
The best compliment is when I’m at the gym and I hear another girl point to me and say, “I want an ass like hers.” That’s the best compliment.
Anything on your sexual bucket list at this point?
As far as my film career goes, probably anal. I’m ready to take it in the butt soon. I still need lots of practice with butt plugs. But someday it might happen. My fans have been asking for me to do it. It’s not something you just jump into like, “Hey, let me just ram this huge cock up my ass.” It takes some practice. In the meantime, I’m hopeful that some rapper will have me in his video because my big old booty needs to be in a rap video.