The first few years of marriage are pure bliss (or so they tell us). You’re coasting on the newness of your relationship, the hormones that flood your brain for the first few years of being with someone, and all the wild hopes you have for the future. Then things slow down a little bit. Don’t feel bad; this happens to absolutely everyone. You’re not quite as hot for each other as you used to be. Your daily life has become routine. After ten years, it’s easy to get bored even if you’re still completely in love, and that boredom can spell trouble for your marriage. There are ways to combat this though.
Interrupt Your Routine
Most human beings settle into a routine because it’s easier. Your brain tries to free up as much thinking power as possible for important decisions, so stuff like where to go to dinner with your wife can get short shrift. Many couples have a small number of restaurants they love, or a few vacation spots that have become their favorites over the years, and they repeat them over and over. This makes sense, but ultimately it’s a bad thing for your marriage.
Your brain craves novelty, which is really just newness. When you and your wife do something completely new together it forms a unique shared memory. It’s such a simple thing, but it actually brings you closer together and can generate some of those wonderful hormones that make the beginning of any relationship such a wild and wonderful experience. Try something new at least once a week. It can be as simple as taking a walk in a different part of town or trying a new restaurant. Newness can be scary, especially if you’ve settled into comfortable patterns in your life, but it’s an absolute necessity if you want to keep your marriage fresh.
Newness in the Bedroom is Important Too
The importance of sex in a marriage cannot be overstated. It often falls to the bottom of the list because life’s responsibilities supersede intimacy, but it shouldn’t. Both members of a couple should work to make sure the other is satisfied. It’s more important than you can imagine. That’s why you need to spice things up and the same principles of newness and novelty apply here. You have to be willing to take chances, to introduce new things.
More women than you might expect are interested in porn, just not the type that most guys watch. Ladies tend to like either the really passionate stuff or amateur stuff. Seeing pictures of hot nude wives posted online by real couples can inspire more wild thoughts than you could possibly imagine. A simple suggestion to your wife that you guys try something like that might pay more dividends than you thought possible. Just browsing the pictures together and thinking about the fun those couples are having could be the inspiration your sex life needs to spice things up.