Thanks for Sharing, Ex-Girlfriend!

Look, when I’m in a relationship, I’m all for sharing and opening up and letting my thoughts and emotions run free like a pack of wild horses that just got their asses smacked by a mechanical hand.

But there are certain things I never, ever need to know.

Case in point: the former girlfriend who, about three months into our relationship, somehow felt compelled to describe the odd consistency of her ex-husband’s semen. To me. Over lunch.

While I applauded her open-ness, that was something I probably could have gone my entire life without ever needing to know.

And, for the record, in my darkest hours, the images conjured by her words — “Froot Loops mixed with Jell-O” to be precise — still haunt me.


  1. Nick, mostly

    October 1, 2012 at 12:44 pm

    Fuck you, Ken. You did that on purpose. 🙂

    • Nikki B

      October 2, 2012 at 11:16 am

      Misery does love company!

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