The Art of Kissing

Do you remember kissing? I only ask because it seems you have forgotten. Haha! I kid, I kid – OK, not really. When fucking has become your national pastime, kissing can feel as hurried and as perfunctory as flossing. “Yeah, yeah, OK, yeah, some tongue action, I think I licked a molar, NOW TAKE YOUR PANTS OFF.” And what a loss! Kissing is actually quite a filthy act, when you think about it, and one that you can actually get away with in public (for the most part.) If done with skill it can be one of the most erotic experiences you can have, and you don’t even have to wear a condom.

Skill, you ask? Yes, skill. Nothing is worse than a bad kisser. That means someone who kisses like he’s eating a double Reuben sandwich after taking out his dentures. Or mouth-smashing. Or not enough tongue. Or so much tongue you feel like you just made out with half the entrants at the Westminster Dog Show. Now, everyone has different tastes and preferences, and what might constitute as “gross” for you might be a real turn-on for the next victim. I mean date. But I think ultimately the key to a successful kiss is the time, energy and attention you put into it. Slow the fuck down, breathe, and pucker up, sugar.

So, I’d like to issue a challenge for July: the next time you are going to get busy, whether it’s with your partner for 10 years or for 10 minutes, I dare you to make out for half an hour. Yep, I said 30 minutes! I know, seems like FOREVER, doesn’t it. But I promise, with a little open-mindedness, creativity and some Altoids at the ready, the time will just fly by.


1 Comment

  1. Victoria Nachos

    July 14, 2013 at 7:03 pm

    Making out for half an hour is something I would kill for (and I say that because I’ll probably have to kidnap my next victim as dating is at an all time low [given that I’ve sworn off online dating] and then of course he’ll have seen my face and I don’t want to go to jail so well you get the idea). But if a man willing comes to my lips (so to speak)…I will 100% take on this challenge. xoxo

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