The Best Thing About Winter…

Yeah, I’m jealous of the floor she’s sitting on. You blame me?

…is, without question, women in jeans and boots. In fact, I’m 99 percent certain that God invented winter just so women could sport tight jeans and boots.

Like vodka and a swift punch to the balls, it’s a combination that never fails to bring me to my knees. Which is just exactly where I want to be, if you catch me.*

So today, as I meander out into the mean streets of Providence, Rhode Island, where the temperature threatens to stay below 30 degrees, I will be silently saluting you, women with jeans and boots. And reminding you that if you’re ever looking for an opportunity to lose those pants, straddle a face like it’s the last car leaving Space Mountain, then storm back out into the crisp winter air with the knowledge that you’ve made some nerd’s holiday, then I’m your guy.

Also, I have wine and beer. Like, shitloads.

*SUBTLE CUNNILINGUS REFERENCE!

Leave a Reply