The Penis Shot: A Necessary Addition to the Family Photo Album?

Is that my man's junk...or Aunt Marge's Thanksgiving turkey?

Is that my man’s junk…or Aunt Marge’s Thanksgiving turkey?

Hey, as many of you are probably aware, I celebrate full frontal, on the big screen as well as the small screen. But I should probably let you in on a little secret – when we get a penis shot, it is most likely going to be enjoyed en masse. As in, we’ll be whipping out the celly the next time we’re at happy hour and had a few shots, and we’re gonna scream, “look at what Joe sent me!” and the phone will be passed around and around and AROUND, until even the barback knows the finer details of your erect schlong. I hope you’re OK with that.

Yeah, I don’t know why we do that. I’m sure when you sent it your intention wasn’t to help alleviate any lull in the conversation with the girls after work, or livening up the usual Friday night crowd at the local dive bar, but there’s just something so…outrageously hysterical, so divinely scandalous about it that it’s just too good not to share. Do we get turned on by it, you ask? Yeah, sure, why not. It will be a fantastic wing man for my “party of one” before bed. But even then I’ll still be giggling.

Oh and a word to the wise – lock your damn phone, yo. I got a panicked email once from a paramour who had taken several peen shots, including action shots of said peen inserting itself into my vijizzle, on his phone and then conveniently lost it. At the elementary school where he taught.

Thankfully, one of his older female colleagues found it, I believe the school librarian. She handed the phone back to him, gave him a wink and said, “looks like you had a great Thanksgiving.” Needless to say, he’ll never take out a book or make eye contact with her again.

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