Tie Me Up, Tie Me Down

I officially dedicate my Saturday to the girl who spent the better part of this afternoon tying down a mattress to the hood of her car, treating me to three plus hours of college girl derriere in yellow shorts whilst I got my drink on.

Every beer I downed and every filthy thought that entered my mind was for you, Mattress Girl. I salute you, your shorts, and whoever ends up buried beneath your particularly awesome ass this evening.

Love, Ken.

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