I officially dedicate my Saturday to the girl who spent the better part of this afternoon tying down a mattress to the hood of her car, treating me to three plus hours of college girl derriere in yellow shorts whilst I got my drink on.
Every beer I downed and every filthy thought that entered my mind was for you, Mattress Girl. I salute you, your shorts, and whoever ends up buried beneath your particularly awesome ass this evening.
Love, Ken.
Imagine Rob Zombie performing Cirque du Soleil, but Rob Zombie as an impossibly hot blonde with a perfect hourglass body and an ass so round it almost violates building...
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