Tits and Ask: I’m In Love With An Old Fart

tumblr_m1463uSKXI1qb00zno1_500Dear Ken & Ariel: I’m 23, and dating a guy who’s older. Actually, double my age. We’ve been together for a couple months and he’s the best thing that’s happened to me since I moved to Boston. But it’s at the stage where I want to introduce him to my friends and family. Should I anticipate a freak-out from them, and have you got any ideas as to how I should deal with it? Thanks.

Ken Says: See, when you’re a guy dating an older woman, you’re instantly the Prince of the City, getting winks and thumbs-up and knowing glances from your peers. At least so long as you’re under 20. After that, anyone even a couple months older than you is grandma material, unless she’s rich, Demi Moore, or heiress to the Anheuser-Busch fortunes. So I can pretty much predict the responses you’ll get: Your female pals will be so happy that you’re happy. Your male friends will wonder how some 46-year-old dude scored your ass. And his buddies will instantly start begging him for a closet show or at least a couple digital shots of your rack. Hey, that’s just how we are.

Ariel Says: Huh. My “Welcome to Boston” basket had a parking ticket and a “Yankees Suck” T-shirt; sounds like you got a much better deal. Well, congratulations on your wiser, smarter, more mature, and experienced hottie. The fact that you are as into him as he is, I’m so sure, over the moon for you, is quite special. Right now the age difference doesn’t really stick out as, say, the 65 year old and his 18 year old Thai mail order bride I saw out at a bar the other night. So I don’t think you’ll quite garner the same loud gasp and snicker that they got (from me.) Just introduce him to your friends and family with a big ol’ smile; you don’t need to give them any cliff notes of your romantic life, because you are an adult, you make your own decisions, and guess what? It’s no one else’s business. If you do get any grief, tell them exactly what you told us: you are happier than a pig in shit (obviously I’m paraphrasing) and that he’s the best thing since Big Papi. Your continued happiness and contentment will silence any of the nosy nellies who have clearly never heard of Demi and Ashton. Er, wait a minute…scratch that. Uh, Lindsay Lohan and that rich old guy who guys her fur coats? Does Helen Mirren have a boy toy?

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