Where to Place that Booty Call

Hey, you two! Get a room!

Hey, you two! Get a room!

Advantages of going to his house:
-I can silently judge him according to his decor
-He can’t judge my autographed 1987 Broadway poster of “Cats!” (hipster-ironic, of course)
-free food/booze (sometimes. OK, free tap water.)
-I can make a shit-ton of noise and not worry about the neighbors
-Except for his roommate and Google Earth, no one knows where I’ve been
-I can leave
-I can leave
-Did I mention that I can leave?

Advantages of going to my house:
-condoms. Motherfucker, how can you NOT have condoms?
-a clean bathroom (well, cleaner than yours.)
-my own bed (holla! no waking up and wondering why I am suddenly living the TV Show “Hoarders.”)
-actual food/booze in the fridge, because I put it there
-no walk of shame/I can stay in my jammies
-He can leave
-He can leave
-Wait, he hasn’t left yet?
-Wait, where are you going?!? I made you waffles! (OK that last part is a bit over the top.)

3 Comments

  1. Stephanie

    June 13, 2013 at 11:39 am

    HA

    That’s hilarious because I just wrote a post about sneaking out.

    Always their house. Because you can sneak out :)

  2. L.A.

    June 13, 2013 at 12:12 pm

    I’m in agreement with the sneaking out.

    My basic booty call rules:

    1. ALWAYS LIE ON THE SIDE OF THE BED NEAREST THE DOOR.
    2. Throw clothes in easy to find areas
    3. No skinny jeans.
    4. Carry condoms. BECAUSE SERIOUSLY, WHY DON’T GROWN MEN ALWAYS HAVE THESE THINGS?!

  3. LG

    June 27, 2013 at 11:34 am

    I really don’t get why you have to be on the side of the bed next to the door. Are you planning on making a run for it? :))

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